Thom, desperate to escape the early onset of winter in Chicago, asked me find a cruise or something, anything. We flew out of Midway on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, leaving late enough in the day to miss the morning mile-long line ( literally, a mile! ) to get through security.
Vacations to Go lead me to a 5-night Bahamas trip out of Jacksonville with a balcony suite aboard the Carnival Fascination.
Our suite was just below the red line just forward of the mid-ship bump-out.
THE SHIP
Big, but not gigantic, she was built in 1994. Our cruise had 2000 guests and 1000 crew.
THE BEST PART OF THE SHIP --- see below under THE CREW.
THE WORST PART OF THE SHIP ---
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| The music was thumping loud until way after dark and yet every chair was full and people looked like they were talking or even napping. I don't think we would have used this area much anyway. |
THE WORST OF THE WORST --- Upon returning to the ship after a wow of a dinner in Nassau ( pronounced "nausea" by those in the know ), our loudness was in competition with two even larger ships ( 3-5k passengers each ) for "Who can make the most noise?" You could not pick out a single note in any of the three soundtracks, but the multiple colliding base lines might have given you a nosebleed.
THE MOST FUN ON THE SHIP --- The "Behind the Fun" tour in which about 15 of us were escorted, over the course of almost 3 hours, to parts of the ship usually not seen by passengers. Galley and bakery with comments from the chef. Storage areas for produce, meats, beer, etc with comments from the Purser. Laundry facility with comments from the head of department ( the machine that both dried and folded sheets in a few seconds was a standout here ). Engine control room with thorough comments from one of the engineers and live camera views of all parts of the ship part of the ship ( as opposed to the hotel part of the ship ) . Employees lounge and dining room as well as a classroom for language study, internet connections, etc. "I-95" on Deck 3 is the only stem to stern straight line path on the boat, for use by employees and fork lifts alike. And, of course, the bridge, where the Captain gave us a cordial welcome and quite a bit of his time answering our final questions.
THE BALCONY ---proved an ideal location for a late afternoon bottle of bubbles after an exhausting day of eating, reading, napping and perhaps sitting in the steam room or sauna.
You know, a chance to relax before dinner and watch the evening sky.
Or the moonlight on the water
Or just the water
The photograph I didn't get and the image I will never forget was of the rainbow as we entered a gentle tropical squall at dawn. It arched over the ship and had one terminus directly under the bow, where I was alone sipping my first coffee.
THE FOOD
In an effort to be positive and brief, I would say the breakfast was as good as IHOP, the salad bar at lunch was every bit as good as Wendy's, and the dinners were on a par with what you might find at the the best restaurant in an almost forgotten mid-western town. Fear not gentle reader, we did not suffer.
THE CREW
As with other cruises they were mostly younger people from all over the world, but mostly from what's called "The Far East" (Thailand, Indonesia, Philippines, etc.) and the far east of Europe (Croatia,Dalmatia,Hungary, etc). Very few Americans or Bahamians working for an American company on boats registered in the Bahamas....go figure.
At any rate, wherever they were from and no matter what the job, they were all seemingly happy to be working and always attentive and cordial with guests. We quickly found the team of waiters for our meals in the dining room, engaged them in conversation about their lives and families back home, added some cash and were treated with exquisite care. When I tried to call B.S. when one of the hostesses said we were her favorite guests, she assured me she had no need to say so except that it was true. She is also the one who defined economics for us, " In your country a thousand dollars buys a window. In my country it buys four windows.......and a door."
THE GUESTS
The small group of non-Americans aside, most of the rest of the adults seemed to be overweight, obese,or morbidly obese on the one hand, or scrawny over-tattooed crackers with never-removed caps, mostly worn backwards. My first pass thorough the buffet I found myself behind someone wearing a Duck Dynasty t-shirt. There were so many of the large types that Thom and I had to break down our award for "most overweight" by age, race, single, couple or family, etc. As you can see from the photo below, Thom is not a small fellow, but he was no where near being in the competition.
There were also just enough 3-7 year old kids to put a smile on any face. I don't want and have never wanted children of my own, but I do get a big hit of joy in the presence of that clumsy innocent inquisitive exuberance . On the other hand, the cruise the week before ours had an additional 600 children......enough said.
IN CLOSING, WORDS TO LIVE BY
On the advice of the highly esteemed Jan & Ed, we got off the ship in Nassau and took a meal at GREYCLIFF, which is a 260 year old building that was a house, then an Inn, then a house, now an Inn, located across the street from the pink governor's palace. We walked there in the morning to get the lay of the land and it was gruesome, passing through the Straw Market, a very crowded maze of sidewalk hawkers and shanty shops ( "Licensed Hair Braiders" was my favorite ) to get to the relative orderliness of streets with shop after shop of diamonds, designer clothes, expensive watches, and of course T-shirts and alcohol.
But then you enter the gate at Greycliff....
and step inside the living room
We made our reservation and headed back to the ship, stopping along the way at the Pirate Museum, which was actually entertaining and informative. ( thanks again Jan&Ed ) As we left the museum the guy in pirate drag at the door assured us "Aye, lads, there's no more pirates in these parts. They're all in New York, running ships named AIG, Bank of America,.JPMorgan Chase........" His list continued until we were out of ear shot.
We took a cab back that evening and enjoyed one of the those meals. The waiters have all worked there forever, even though they're much younger then we are. The wine list has as many pages as a Dickens' novel and includes lots of big bottles with big prices. The menu is classic continental with a local twist. We ordered the seafood extravaganza for two and ate til we couldn't. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that the price of my casually ordered glass of Sauvignon Blanc cost $28.
Words of wisdom from the Maitre D' as I was apologizing for knocking over my barely touched first Gibson and he was escorting us to a different table,
"As long as you're alive, anything can happen."
Until the next time.
